Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Fighting for Family


How we have been doing family for the past 200 years does not work.

Men leaving the home to work and women being stuck in the home was never a good solution for raising the next generation to be able to function better than one generation currently does. Either, spiritually, physically, emotionally or financially, we see lack and we've been in reaction mode for generations.

The feminist movement should have been a partnership movement. Women and men both should be respected and honoured for their gifts, talents, abilities and skills. Instead we saw a whole generation of women having to act and work like men to have equal rights and become part of a system that was already failing instead of fixing it.

Our society has set us up to have to choose between presence in the home and presence in the workforce and not operating in both. Finally, in the past few years, I'm starting to see a bit of both; women and men able to work with the family and for their family and not in spite of them.

I feel as though the rise of technology has ushered us into a new renaissance era of being able to focus on creating art and not just work for the sense of work, but working to make this world a better place, a more beautiful place. I would say this is still the exception and not the norm.

What I still see is men receiving polarized labels, he can either be a) the rescuer or b) the oppressor, when what God designed them to be was c) our partners. 

We need to stop pitting the genders against each other and start appreciating the differences, and holding the weakness accountable. Men & women are not the same. I think that because the word "equality" gets thrown around so much, our brains deduce it down to "we are equal means we are the same" there is really only true equality when we place the same amount of value on the differences and not conformity. As much as the media seems to propagate we are the same, science & history tells us a different story - and it's a good thing that we are so different.

I want to be clear when I say family - I don't necessarily mean having babies together, although I think that children are still one of the most incredible things to happen to anyone, but when I say family I mean unity. 

I think women have so much to bring to the table, and they should and they should be unhindered, but not in a way that pushes men out. We need to take responsibility for our own actions, our own emotions, our own needs - have those met in God first, than we will be able to work along side imperfect men. 

We as women have an incredible opportunity as we make advances in the workplace and our world, but let's not make them at the cost of the most precious human experience - relationships. 

The men in my life are far from perfect, they have misunderstood me at times, belittled me at others, rolled their eyes or even just ignored my ever-wise intuition. But I will not let their character defects define my gifts, my femininity or my identity. They do not control myself worth or define my gifts or their value - God does. I will not engage in toxic or abusive relationships but I will have grace for immaturity & growth & I will take ownership for my shortcomings & misunderstandings of men. 

I will not be ashamed to be a woman, and I will not be ashamed to love my husband and the other men in my life.


I am the queen of my own life and I will not let terrible men who have done terrible things stop me from connecting to & honouring the good men in my life.


My Prayer (feel free to join in):
God I ask that you would put Godly, safe men in my life. God please help me not to define manhood by personality but by character. 
Soften my heart & help me to be a blessing to the men in my life. Teach me how to forgive the men in my life who have hurt me.
 I ask God that you would help me not to put men on pedestals that I would think that my husband (or any man) owes me something, or that he completes me.  
I ask God that you would give me eyes to see so that I would not be deceived by any men who do not want the best for me. I ask God that you would give me wisdom with setting boundaries with men. Teach me how to trust again and show me who is safe to trust. I know God that you designed women to partner and work along side men, so I ask that you would bless my relationships. 
In Jesus name, Amen!

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