The Logic

So I have decided to create a new blog. Not that my other one was very successful, I would only update it every 3-4 months, but I had to force myself often to come up with content to write about, it didn't flow naturally. However, I am in a new season in my life (new wife and mother), and I need to vent, and write things out to sort them.

Being a wife is amazing, but it isn't easy-especially being married young. My husband and I have known each other for years and have always been good friends and I love him very much, I love having him in my life and I love his company...but what I don't always love is living with him. Sometimes, I would love to be married, but be neighbors-that have lot's of dinner parties and sleepovers. I find this man's socks EVERYWHERE!!! It is actually mind-blowing. Every morning he says to me "Sweetheart do you know where my socks are?" And I reply in my sleep "Check the clean laundry basket..." because I do not have it in me at 5am to say "Check the dresser, or check the floor, check under the bed, check the hamper, check the closet, check the living room, check under the couch, check in the couch, check in the dining room, check ON the dining room table, check in the hallway, check in the entry room, check in the kitchen, check in the baby's room, check in the laundry room,check the car...HOW IN THE WORLD CAN YOU NOT FIND SOCKS WHEN IT'S ALL I SEEM TO FIND EVERYWHERE?!!?!?"...this is one of our marital problems...Ryan just doesn't know it yet. Which leads to the bigger issue really...communication...

Better communication always seems to be the answer to relationship problems, but still most couples, including myself, aren't making it a priority to communicate how they really feel. Whether it is negative or positive, and in today's society where marriage is constantly being attacked by the media I think the Positive communication is desperately needed! But woman, especially, tend to hold back the negative, FOR WHATEVER REASON, I don't know if we don't want to portray the "mother figure" or be the nagging wife, but a lot of woman let men do things that bug them all the time and not say a thing...right away. Then it flips, all the pent up frustration and resentment explodes, all hell breaks loose, and all you can say is negative things and nit pick your husband apart. I was in the shower the other day upset with Ryan over something, I don't even remember what it was, and as I was standing there fuming over it and not talking to him about it, I started this chain of negative thoughts toward him, the thing I was frustrated about at the moment, reminded me of something else he had done that bugged me, which reminded me of something else, and so on and so on, I was getting SO worked up, then I caught myself..."I'm planning my husbands murder and he doesn't even know why he's been sentenced to death!" ..not healthy relationship habits.

So my focus for the next 40 days is to daily communicate how I am feeling(won't he enjoy this lol... He'll probably stop me before the end of the first week and say "Ya know what, just keep it pent up inside, and let all hell break loose once in a while, I think that's easier") both the frustrations, and the things he does that I appreciate...because he is getting much better and does a wonderful job with laundry, taking out the trash, and changing dirty diapers-none of which are glamorous jobs. He is not perfect and neither am I but I love my husband even with his memory lapsing schizophrenia relationship with his socks.